Alex Frederick Jorgenson

Today has been all about you son, so many things happening latly i have seen so much of the crule uglyness this world is coming to. People say things they have no idea how they hurt others, by their actions, and anger, once its said its done the damage is done. Trying to take it back only makes it worse, when the anger takes over ,words are said that NEVER should be, I did that to you son, I lost my cool ,i was fusterated and at my wits end not knowing what to do,but I should have just walked away ,I didnt , i am so sorry for the words spoken that day ,just as words spoken today ,things cannot be taken back, i only pray you know I love you, you took a huge part of my heart with you that day and it just isnt getting any stronger, family falling apart anger getting in the way of love and nobody thinks their to blame , cant see the wrong in their ways as i do now with you. I went about it all wrong but i didnt know. Im so sorry i never ment the words i said, but you have shown me that walking away is better in the end. when does it end alex, when is enough ,enough, how do you know when its over and fighting will no longer prove anything, you were a fighter but this messed up world was stronger, i understand now why you threw in the towl, you had enough ,just please show me i was not the reason you did so. Im soo sorry I wasnt there the day you really needed someone to be but you made the decission and had it all planned i see that now, i understand your reasons because of the world around me, if everyone could just control anger and stop with all the excusses and own up to their mess ups, take responsability for theie actions and realize the things they do are hurtful to some. Alex i miss you and love you with all of what is left of my heart, together someday soon we will be and i look forward to the peace and love you have. I envy you son, you have the best seat in this show, beside god and all who love you say hi to gma risberg, se always knew what to say. Ilove you son and miss you so dearly-Dad

Missing you so very much these last few days, but every time I'm out in my hop were we made that ox together for your mom, that song comes on. The one we Sat up in the attic room that day and you pulled it up on the internet. By John Lennin's son, When September Ends. You said that was one of your favorite songs. Well hon I've been hearing that slit lately and always brings tears to my eyes, I think of you!! Not a day or moment goes by I don't think of you, miss you so very much, your laughter, your smiles, and tat way you always said when you called me, Hi grandma, it's me Alex!. Love you to the moon and beyond! Your Grandma J.

One year ago today i spent the day with my family, Alex Shyane and Dylan.Along with Kristi and I we decided to skip church and have a family day, Dylan was home for the weekand. We played football and hit the baseball with the dogs and there was soo much laughter for hours that day. Alex had just came home that friday from Rochester and we were all together!! Things seemed soo much better...... What happened. little did I know over the course of the next few weeks Alex was planning his good byes to family in his own way. We never seen it coming. Alex and I were driving around he was about to get his license and needed the driving time, we spent some time in the shop tearing apart the trail 70 he soo wanted to get it running for spring. His drum kit had broke there was a bracket that needed fixing, he refused to let me help said he had to buy a new one. Well son yesterday i spent the day in your room , everyone was gone and i fixed the drum kit took it down to the shop and fixed the bracket, then put the entire set back together for you. I told you I would fix it. Im sorry it took so long, but its like new now and it will never be broken again. I miss you Alex soo bad, My son my friend my little boo buddy. Rest in peace buddy. Love Dad

Couldn't sleep, been thinking of you constantly lately. I miss you so very much, especially those big bear hugs you gave, I could use one of those right about now!! Been thinking of March 13 Last year when you and Zackary spent the night. We had so much fun. You and I were in the shop, you wanted to redue that wooden box for your mom and dad. You worked hard on it and it turned out beautifully. Zackary was on grandpa's side building a chair for himself with grandpa helping. Later we had pizza and movies and popcorn. I have so many wonderful memories of being with you. All the times you and Shyane swan in the pool, have a lot of great pictures of that day. 
  But most of all Alex really the days are not getting easier sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, I try to stay strong, but the years still flow, I just want you back!! But I do know your happy and at peace with yourself and that's all that matters. I couldn't stand seeing you hurt so much and there was nothing I could do to help but just be there for you when you needed that grandma hug. Forever and always to the moon and beyond to infinity I will love you, I won!! Love Alex forever in my ❤ Grandma J. 

Man many days go passed and theres not a second i cant get you off my mind it gets hard for me to believe that when I go the blooming prairie campground that you wont be there or when we first played some hoops down the hill or walked down to the river and was tossing rocks in the water. Just being able to meet you man thats what gets to me im not good at this hole losing a friend thing it boggles with my head. Seeing you laugh made me feel like hey i have a friend that thinks im pretty funny and to be honest i dont get that very much or when you smiled man or when we were talking about the girls i miss that man we didnt talk at all tho thats one thing i would have changed... I wish we were way closer you have such an amazing family and your personality is what helped me be who i am today... I love you bud hope your doing okay up there.. 

Today is 11/8/2015 ,these past few weeks have been really hard for me. Alex and i were doing his drivers training thing where he had to have "x" amount of hours in before he could go for his license we had about 30+ hours in so far before this all happened. He really was a good driver, and man he always had the tunes up and never once did i not see a smile on his face. He loved it, and the fact that he was gonna get his license in October and the suberu was gonna be his, he wanted to chop the exhaust and go to misgens and find a spoiler for the back and so many other things, he was so pumped about that. There is where I am struggeling. We were gonna get the John Deere sled all fixed up, Alex started tearing down the little Trail 50 Honda mini bike we were gonna repaint it this winter and get it running for spring, this fall he wanted me to teach him about all the saws and tools in the shop because he wanted to build his christmas gifts for family this year( out of wood).
Alex had a plan to go around to all the neighbors and make them an offer to mow their lawns with the lawn mower he got from our very kind neighbor Marvin, for free Alex just had to fix it up and get it working, and he did. There were so many things , the new camper, he was a big part of the decision to get it, he wanted it so bad, now we have it and a site at Brookside ,and all this and so much more that him and I had planned and now................ There are days where I feel as though Im gonna crash and i cry and talk to him and swear he brings me back to reality and the here and now. There are times I cant handle being in my shop alone, I feel he draws me back to it. There are times I feel I dont want to go on, I think He makes me realize I have a beautiful wife , my daughter and my Other son to hold on for. I just hope there are times when Alex realizes part of me died the day I came home to be one of the first ones there and to do what I did, no father EVER should have to do CPR on his own child, I tried we were just to late, I couldn't save you, and god was there for you before me.You are an amazing boy my son and I so miss you. What now of all our plans, that is what i need to figure out, if I ever will be able to. I Love you and miss you so bad my son, my life will not EVER be the same, My heart will never be whole again, but still beats on for you and for me. The Beat Goes On my dear boy, you make me proud to have been your father, I only wish I could have finished the job.
 Love forever, Dad

I have so many wonderful memories of you hon,and I was so very lucky to be able to take care of you in your early years at my daycare. My favorite one is when you were calling everyone on the play phone, you'd say,"Hello daddy this is Alex,what you doing ,you at work,ok see you later mmmm wah(that was you kissing the phone) you'd call everyone mommy jenny grandpa. I am so glad that I recorded that all and also more recordings of you every day. Now I can go back and watch them all. I miss you so much hon, things just are not the same. But I know your in a better place and at peace with your self. Love you forever and always your Grandma J.

It was December 19th 2014. We were all at my mom and dad's house. Alex decides he wants to take a bet and see if he can get out of being wrapped up with duck tape. I bet him $5.00 he couldn't and sure enough it didn't take him long and he was free from the duck tape within about 3-5 minutes.  He was always trying to make us laugh.  His big smile will be remembered forever!